by Karen Shantz
How many meetings do you attend weekly? Do you leave feeling energised? Or do you, as Milos Markovic put it, spend most meetings “daydreaming about your next vacation, your lunch menu, and maybe even the mysteries of the universe”?
If you’re struggling to organise or chair meetings, I recommend reading his November 18 blog, “Navigating the Waters of School Staff Meetings,” in which he outlines key strategies to make meetings more efficient and impactful. His third point, engagement, especially stood out to me, and it’s what I’d like to expand on here.
Learning the Hard Way
I remember one of the first meetings I was asked to chair in my role as catchment coordinator. Picture this: fifteen principals and the assistant superintendent gathered in a staff room. Some are shifting uncomfortably in their chairs, others look on the brink of dozing off. Then my phone starts buzzing with text messages:
“Get her to stop.”
“This is a big waste of time.”
“Whose idea was it to invite her?”
I thought I’d mastered the art of leading meetings. After all, I was an advanced communicator in my Toastmasters Club and had been praised for organising efficient, timely meetings. What I’d overlooked was a key ingredient: engagement. The seasoned leaders in that room saw no relevance in the presenter I had invited. Their time was precious, and I was wasting it.
From Attendance to Engagement
In his article, Markovic argues that meetings need to be more than informational—they should actively involve participants. I couldn’t agree more.
The Harvard Business Review article“The Hidden Toll of Meeting Hangovers” (Feb 12, 2025) highlights the frustration people feel when they have valuable input but no opportunity to share it. Meetings that are one-directional leave people feeling undervalued, even defeated. Many resort to fading quietly into the background.
So, here’s a small but powerful suggestion: stop calling for a meeting, start inviting people to collaborate.
Can changing just a few words really make a difference? Absolutely. Language matters. It frames our expectations and our mindset.
A few years ago, I had the privilege of hearing Dr. Jody Carrington speak, and something she said still shapes how I respond to children in crisis:
“Kids are not attention-seeking; they are connection-seeking.”
That subtle shift — attention or connection — completely changed how I engaged with students. What if we brought the same thinking into our leadership spaces?
Reframing the Meeting
So how does this connect to meetings? Let me give you a few practical examples from my own experience:
1. Principals’ Monthly Meetings: From Committee to Collaboration
In my previous role, I chaired monthly meetings with a group of principals. For years, a small committee set the agenda and made decisions for the group. Others were left feeling like passive recipients. Most of what we discussed could have been emailed. But here’s the thing: these principals were not disinterested. They were deeply committed to the catchment and wanted to collaborate — they just weren’t being given the opportunity.
So we changed our approach. Instead of a handful of voices reporting back, we formed focus groups with every principal actively contributing. That shift brought a stronger sense of teamwork and focus to our monthly meetings.
2. Supporting New Teachers: From Directive to Dialogue
As a curriculum coordinator, I’ve had to coach and mentor teachers. I noticed that telling new teachers that I needed to meet with them to discuss x, y, z gave them the impression that they were not performing up to standard, and that I, the expert, was going to come in with all the answers. So I started rephrasing it as an invitation:
“I’d love to collaborate with you on your unit plans,” or “I’d love to explore ideas with you” – shifted the tone completely.
That small shift turned what felt like one-sided check-ins into meaningful conversations.
3. Building Trust with Parents: Listening First
Not long ago, I attended a meeting with our PYP principal and Head of School to support a kindergarten student struggling to adjust. Understandably, the parent was nervous. But our Head of School began the conversation by saying:
“Tell us more about your child. How are they adjusting to the move to China?”
That question opened the door. I sensed a shift in the room. The parent, who was no doubt worried about how things would go, had been given the first opportunity to share their experience and concerns. That initial question was an invitation to the table, an invitation to work with us.
Four Takeaways for School Leaders
1. Encourage participation from all voices– meetings should be spaces where everyone contributes, not just a few.
2. Frame meetings as opportunities to engage, not obligations to attend.
3. Watch your language– the words we choose influence how people feel and respond.
4. Prioritise collaboration over control– people thrive when they feel seen, heard, and valued.
Final Thoughts: The Small Shift That Changes Everything
So here’s my challenge: reframe your next meeting. What if it wasn’t a meeting at all, but a chance to create something together? What if your staff, parents, or students left feeling energised, connected, and involved?
A simple change in language might be the key to a deeper change in culture.
References:
‘Navigating the Waters of Staff Meetings‘ – Milos Markovic
Reed, Brent N., et al. The Hidden Toll of Meeting Hangovers. Harvard Business Review, 12 Feb. 2025, https://hbr.org/2025/02/the-hidden-toll-of-meeting-hangovers
Carrington, Jody. Kids These Days: A Game Plan for (Re)Connecting with Those We Teach, Lead, & Love. Imagination Edge, 2019.
Karen Shantz, Early Years Head of Department, Canadian International School of Hefei
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