by Rob Daws
In exactly one month, I’ll hit 40 and I’m almost certainly having a midlife crisis…
Like many people approaching that milestone, I’ve found myself in a period of deep reflection – I look at my life now as an International School Principal in China and then I look back at where it all began. If you had told me years ago, as a lad from Oldham clutching a handful of C-and D grade GCSEs, that I’d end up here, I would have laughed. Lads from my neck of the woods don’t usually take this path.
Part of me is still surprised at how it all happened. But looking back, I think it comes down to being willing to take a chance and looking for the adventure. One of the most interesting chapters of that journey was a job I held as a graduate: working as a doctor’s receptionist.
At the time, I’ll be honest, I felt like I was underachieving. I wasn’t pushing on in life the way I thought I should be. I remember being in bars with my best mate at the time was working as an accountant or in the oil industry, and I felt a genuine sense of embarrassment telling people what I did. I felt like I was standing still while everyone else was sprinting. It didn’t feel like a “career” yet; it just felt like a job.
In reality, that role was my leadership apprenticeship. It taught me the pillars that define my philosophy today: Dependability, Consistency, and Empathy.
Being Predictable
In a doctor’s surgery, people are often at their worst. They are sick, anxious, or grieving. What they need isn’t a “disruptor” – they need someone dependable. They need to know that when they walk through that door, they are getting the same calm, consistent person every single time.
In school leadership, it’s no different. Your staff and your students don’t need a leader who is a different person every Monday morning. Consistency builds psychological safety. When you are dependable, you become the anchor for the school’s culture. I believe this alignsThis aligns perfectly with the core LYIS values of Ethical Leadership and stable Vision and is a motivating factor for me in joining LYIS.
The Importance of Empathy
Working the front desk taught me to listen – not just to the words people were saying, but to the emotion and the “why” behind them. It taught me how to put people at ease in high-stakes environments. Today, that empathy is my most-used professional tool. It allows me to identify other people’s strengths and, more importantly, gives me the confidence to give them the space to run.
I am a massive believer in the Passion Project. One of the most significant things I’ve learned is that leadership isn’t about holding every strand of the rope yourself. If a teacher comes to me with a spark in their eye about improving our phonics program or innovating our early years’ provision, I am not going to micromanage them. I am not the expert on everything, and I have no desire to pretend I am.
I trust my team to lead with their expertise. Whether it is a specialist phonics lead or a coordinator managing the IB PYP curriculum, I am grateful for those who step up. My job is simply to remove the hurdles for them and show the wider staff that their individual efforts are recognized and deeply appreciated. This is “Learning Centred Leadership” in action – focusing on the growth of the educators so they can focus on the growth of the children.
Know Your Strengths, Embrace You Weakenesses
I actually took my first Myers-Briggs personality test while I was working at that surgery. It told me I was a “Campaigner” (ENFP). Following this, for years I saw my traits—being great at starting things but less interested in the granular follow-through—as a professional weakness. I thought a leader had to be the person who finished every single task.
I now realize that being a “Campaigner” is a strategic advantage in Learning Centred Leadership. I am the “spark.” I help colleagues get things off the ground and provide the “Principal’s backing.” Handing over the responsibility isn’t a failure of follow-through; it’s an opportunity for someone else to lead. As long as I can help “start the thing,” letting others own the finish line is the purest form of delegation.
Enjoy the Journey
I was recently in Singapore and I sat on a bus back from a recruitment fair next to a guy from Liverpool with a very similar background to mine. We just got talking. We both grew up in the North of England, where playing football was the height of our ambition and poor GCSEs seemed to define our future. We talked about the “wind your neck in” culture we were raised with – that voice that tells you not to get too big for your boots or be too proud of your success.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn in international education is that if you don’t believe in yourself, nobody else will. I’ve had to consciously learn to stop “winding my neck in.” I’ve had to learn that it is okay to be proud of your school and yourself. I particularly admire this trait in my American colleagues and am grateful to have developed this attitude from them.
To those currently in the “middle” feeling frustrated – perhaps you’re in a role where you feel your potential isn’t being seen – my advice is to trust the journey. Sometimes being aggressive and “wanting it” isn’t the path. You get noticed by being the person who gives others your time and your patience. The skills you are acquiring right now, in the jobs you think are just “stepping stones,” are the very things that will propel you later. You’re probably acquiring skills without even realising it, like I was in the doctor’s surgery.
Final Thoughts
So as I move toward the big FOUR O and the inevitable desire to buy a sports car, hair dye and refuse to accept the game of golf for at least another decade, here are my recommendations for those looking to move into leadership:
- Identify the Experts: Find the people who know their subject better than you ever will, and give them total ownership.
- Be the Anchor: Ensure your team knows exactly who you are and what you stand for every single day.
- Stop Winding Your Neck In: Be proud of your journey and have the confidence to back yourself in the international market.
- Value the “Small” Skills: The empathy you learn in a role that feels like a “detour” is often more valuable than a boardroom strategy.
Rob Daws, Primary School Principal, Achieve Xiamen International School
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