by Dr. Howard Stribbell
When I attended the #LYIS26, conference in Hanoi, I expected strong sessions, thoughtful dialogue, and practical takeaways. What I did not expect was how quickly I would notice something else. It showed up in the conversations between sessions, in the quieter moments over coffee, and in the way people spoke when they let their guard down.
One leader said to me, “I feel like I’ve finally found my people.” Another shared, “I come here to recharge because people get me, and I can be myself.” These comments stayed with me long after the conference ended, not because they sounded nice, but because they pointed to something deeper than connection or networking. They reflected a shared sense of belonging.
If you have spent time in school leadership, you know how rare that can be. Leadership often asks you to carry more than you can comfortably share. You hold decisions that affect entire communities, navigate tensions that do not have clear answers, and manage expectations from staff, students, parents, and boards, often all at once. Over time, many leaders adapt by becoming more careful, more measured, and more controlled. You develop a version of yourself that can handle the role.
It works, at least for a while. But there is a cost. The more you rely on that version of yourself, the harder it becomes to show up fully. Conversations become more guarded, decisions feel heavier, and the space between who you are and how you lead begins to widen.
That is why belonging matters. Not as a slogan or an initiative, but as a condition that allows people to be themselves without fear of losing credibility or connection. At LYIS, that condition has been intentionally built. It allows leaders to speak honestly, listen openly, and reconnect with the reasons they stepped into leadership in the first place.
Where do you feel most able to be yourself in your leadership, and where do you feel the need to perform?
The Myth of Organic Belonging
There is a common belief in schools that if you bring in good people and treat them well, a sense of belonging will naturally follow. It is an appealing idea, but it rarely plays out that way. Schools are complex environments where people arrive with different experiences, expectations, and levels of trust. Under pressure, most individuals do not instinctively move toward openness and connection. They move toward self-protection.
They stay quiet in meetings, test the waters before speaking honestly, and watch how leaders respond before deciding how much of themselves to reveal. You can have a positive, respectful culture and still have people who feel like outsiders.
Belonging requires more than good intentions. It requires deliberate action. It also requires a shift in how we think about our role as leaders. You are not responsible for making everyone feel included in a superficial sense. You are responsible for creating the conditions where people can contribute, challenge, and connect without fear.
Seven Practices That Build Belonging in Schools
When leaders hear the word “belonging,” the instinct is often to look for a program or initiative that can be introduced and measured. That approach misses the point. Belonging is not built through isolated efforts or one-off activities. It is shaped through daily interactions, consistent decisions, and the signals leaders send about what is valued and what is safe.
The following practices are not quick fixes. They are patterns of leadership that, over time, create an environment where belonging can take root and grow. As you read through them, consider which of these are already present in your school and which ones may need more intentional attention.
1. Create psychological safety through truth, not comfort.
Belonging does not come from avoiding difficult conversations. It comes from knowing that you can speak honestly and still be respected. This begins with leadership. When leaders stay present in challenging discussions, listen without defensiveness, and respond with clarity, they signal that honesty is valued.
Where in your school do people feel safe to disagree openly?
2. Normalize imperfection in leadership.
Many leaders believe they need to project certainty at all times, but this often creates distance. When leaders acknowledge mistakes, revisit decisions, or admit uncertainty, they model accountability and growth. This makes it easier for others to do the same.
What do your actions teach your team about how mistakes are handled here?
3. Build structures for voice, not just opportunities.
Inviting input is not enough if it does not lead to action. Belonging grows when people see that their perspectives matter and influence decisions. This requires clear processes that ensure participation is consistent and meaningful.
When people share ideas in your school, what happens next?
4. Make small moments count.
Culture is shaped in everyday interactions. The way you greet people, the attention you give, and the recognition you offer all contribute to how individuals experience the school. These moments accumulate over time and form the lived reality of your culture.
What patterns are people experiencing daily under your leadership?
5. Align words with decisions.
Belonging is fragile when there is a gap between what is said and what is done. When leaders consistently act in line with their stated values, trust builds. When they do not, trust erodes quickly.
Where might there be a disconnect between your values and your decisions?
6. Design for connection, not just efficiency.
Busy schedules often push connection to the margins, yet belonging depends on relationships, and relationships require time. Leaders need to create space for meaningful interaction, not just task completion.
Where can you create more space for genuine connection in your school?
7. Extend belonging beyond the staff room.
Belonging must be experienced by students and parents as well. Students need to feel seen and heard, and parents need to feel respected and included. When belonging is shared across the community, it strengthens the entire school.
Who in your community might still feel on the outside looking in?
The Leader’s Role
You cannot control whether someone feels they belong, but you can shape the environment that makes it possible. Through what you model, what you tolerate, and what you prioritize, you send signals every day about how people are expected to show up. Belonging grows in environments where those signals are consistent and aligned.
This is not always comfortable work. It requires you to listen when it would be easier to move on and to engage with perspectives that challenge your own. It also requires a level of self-awareness that many leaders are still developing. However, the impact is significant. When people feel they belong, they engage differently. They contribute more openly, take ownership, and invest in the collective success of the school.
Why LYIS Matters
What stood out in Hanoi was not just the quality of the sessions, but the environment that allowed leaders to show up without the usual filters. People spoke honestly about the realities of their roles, shared challenges without needing to protect their image, and listened with a level of openness that is difficult to find in more formal settings.
That kind of environment does not happen by chance. It is intentionally created. It matters because leaders carry that experience back into their schools. When you have experienced real belonging, it becomes easier to recognize what is missing and to begin building it more deliberately.
An Invitation
If you are leading a school, or preparing to step into leadership, consider where you are finding that sense of connection and where you may be missing it. Leadership does not have to be a solitary experience.
The next LYIS conference will be hosted in 2027 at the Canadian International School of Phnom Penh. It will bring together leaders who are committed not only to improving their schools, but to improving themselves and the communities they serve.
As you reflect on your own context, consider one practical question:
What is one small change you could make this month that would help someone in your school feel that they truly belong?
Dr. Howard Stribbell, Founder, Hive Schools International
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