by Lisa Thorpe
With over 20 years in education, including a decade in senior leadership, I have cultivated a leadership style that is uniquely my own, rooted in heart, experience, and authenticity, rather than confined to a textbook definition.
As an international school leader and facilitator in a global leadership program, I’ve had the privilege of working with and leading diverse teams made up of people from all cultures, backgrounds, countries, religions, and experiences. This diversity is the beauty and the challenge of international education, and it reinforces why leading with empathy, respect, and cultural understanding is not optional, but essential.
In addition to being a school leader, I am also a facilitator in an international leadership program, I often present and discuss different leadership styles with aspiring leaders. We unpack what it means to be authoritarian, transformational, instructional, and so on. Yet, every time I do, I find myself thinking: none of these truly describes me.
Where It Began
I never set out to be a leader. I loved being a teacher, shaping young lives, and thriving in the classroom. Leadership found me, not the other way around. Once I stepped into it, however, I realized it was where I was meant to be.
My first senior leadership role was across a group of 11 schools. One of my responsibilities was researching positive education and wellbeing to help schools be more intentional in their practice. I saw incredible programs worldwide, but came to believe that no initiative truly matters unless it positively impacts the staff first.
A Leader with a Heart
When I transitioned into school-based leadership, I made relationships my number one priority and used what I had learnt in my research to shape my actions as a leader. I focused on being present, supporting my team, celebrating wins, and recognizing growth. My team began referring to me as “a leader with a heart.”
While that was lovely, it also made me wonder: why was this unusual? Why did my team find it remarkable simply to be seen, heard, and valued?
I realized it was because I truly listened. I noticed their efforts, respected their perspectives, and cared for them as individuals and as a team. In international schools, where staff may be far from home, navigating new cultures and systems, feeling emotionally safe and connected is foundational, not just for wellbeing, but for performance. To this day, I still hold deep connections with many of those I’ve led, because I put relationships first.
Carving My Own Path
My leadership style didn’t fit traditional definitions. I had expertise in curriculum, assessment, policy, and accreditation, but what shaped me most was humanity.
Leading with vulnerability became central to my approach. It means admitting mistakes, saying sorry, inviting input, and showing emotion; sometimes it even means dressing up on school dress-up days to help others feel comfortable joining in.
To me, it means respecting cultural differences and creating environments where every voice, regardless of background or accent, feels welcome.
A Turning Point
When I moved into a secondary leadership role after 15 years in primary, I had to rely on others. I didn’t know the ins and outs of GPAs or the AP system, but that’s the strength of a diverse team. I empowered subject leads and deputies to lead from their expertise, and together, we grew stronger.
During a challenging period with behaviour in middle school, I addressed my exhausted team at a weekly meeting. I shared honestly, not just the challenges, but how I was feeling too. My voice cracked, but I pressed on and outlined a way forward.
One leader saw that vulnerability as weakness and shared it widely. Yet the opposite happened: my team rallied behind me. We turned things around together. That experience taught me that authenticity builds trust, and trust builds resilience.
That moment, where vulnerability was mistaken by one as weakness, actually became one of my greatest strengths as a leader and a moment that has stuck with me for years to come.
Balancing Head and Heart
Leading with heart doesn’t mean avoiding tough conversations or lowering expectations. It means balancing care with clarity. I hold staff accountable, challenge poor performance, and drive improvement, but always through respect, evidence, and relationships.
Over time, I decided to dig more into what it means to be a leader with a heart and I came across the concept of head and heart leadership, which resonated deeply. It describes nicely the work I believe in, the leader I aim to be and the balance I strive for. The head and heart leadership approach is underpinned by the following leadership traits.
Heart traits in practice:
· Empathetic communicator – Listening across cultures, understanding context before judgment
· Active listener – Valuing each person’s story and voice in a diverse team
· Supports growth and development – Coaching with compassion and clear feedback
· Creates belonging – Building community for transient international staff
· Self-aware – Recognising one’s own biases and limits
· Courageous – Standing for wellbeing even under pressure from parents, boards, or inspectors
Head traits in practice:
· Strategic mindset – Aligning initiatives with school vision and measurable impact
· Structured and organised – Managing multiple curricula and inspection frameworks
· Makes tough decisions and drives change – Balancing staff wellbeing with performance demands
· Results-focused – Tracking progress while maintaining perspective
· Sets clear goals and deadlines – Communicating expectations consistently across languages and cultures
· Adapts to change – Navigating turnover, transitions, and new educational systems
When I surveyed two teams, one I had recently left and one I was leading, both reflected a near-perfect balance between head and heart. The context shifted, but the equilibrium held.
Proving the Balance
This affirmed for me that not only was I living true to what I believe in leadership, a head and heart approach, but that the balance IS possible.
In my decade of leadership, I’ve met many leaders driven purely by the head; inspection driver, achievement scores, admission numbers, these leaders often failed to truly see, hear, value and empower their people. Decision were often made based on strategy and not the impact on staff and ultimately the students. I’ve also met one purely heart-driven leader, a wonderful human being, but progress was slow. The most powerful leadership lies in the balance.
This balance is beautifully captured in Ferocious Warmth by Australian leader and author Tracey Ezard, who has inspired me greatly.
Why It Matters in International Education
In international schools, leadership is not only about strategy or outcomes, it’s about humanity in motion across borders.
We lead communities where staff, parents, and students bring different values, expectations, and communication styles. Balancing empathy with accountability, and compassion with clarity, allows us to bridge those cultural differences and create a shared sense of purpose.
This balance directly affects staff retention, student wellbeing, and school culture. When people feel safe, valued, and respected, they stay, grow, and give their best.
A Practical Reflection for Leaders
If you’ve read this far, take a moment to pause and reflect:
1. Where do you sit on the Head and Heart spectrum right now?
2. What’s one leadership behaviour you could shift this week to create more balance?
Maybe it’s scheduling time to listen deeply to a colleague.
Maybe it’s making a tough decision with empathy and transparency.
3. How might you model this balance for your team, so they, too, lead with both courage and care?
Consider using the traits above to self-assess, or better yet, ask your team how they see you. And if you’re curious, read Ferocious Warmth; it may just reshape how you see leadership.
Leadership across cultures and continents is complex. But when we blend strategy with humanity, the head with the heart, we create schools where people don’t just perform, they belong.
Lisa Thorpe, Head of Primary, Ascot International School, Bangkok.
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